Open Letter to Ludge, Rant 1 of (Probably) Many

Dear Ludge,

Please stop checking my blog.

I’ve polled all of my friends and we can’t reach an agreement on why you insist on reading it.

It’s passive aggressively about you. Are you that much of a narcissisit?

Or are you just a masochist?

R is unable to attach badness to anyone’s motives and thinks that you miss me. Maybe you do. But if you did, wouldn’t a phone call be better? Not that I’d pick up, of course. But you probably know that. You used to know a lot about me. I used to know a lot about you, too…like how you’d always shit at 10 am, no matter what. In fact, I often picture you with your laptop, reading my blog on the toilet.

So, please, stop. You’ve moved away and I’ve moved on. And while you’re at it, please send me back my damn key. Changing locks is expensive.

xoxo,

MisRepresentation